The Five Magic of Sleep -Steps for Newborns

    For Nine months, we sleep and play undisturbed, floating in a temperature-controlled medium, eating at will, lights on dim with noise kept to a comfortably low constant hum, our mother's pleasant voice, the tinkle of her laughter ... ah,'

All of that changes in a cold splash of steel and bright lights, and noise, and if we aren't cooperative, I hear a quick slap to the patoot!

   I'm pretty sure all I would want to do would be sleep for the next few months. After bringing home six little ones from this tortuous adventure, I can assure you, their ability to sleep seems to dissolve about the time you leave the hospital and you walk through the door to your home.

 If you're anything like many parents I've known, this is when you start to doubt your ability to parent.

Let me stop you right there. I assure you, all you need is love and your instincts. If you have those two things, you're good to go.

Your baby wants to return to what he/she had. So ... give it to him.  Within reason. I will explain. You have to attend to your baby while also looking after yourself.

TRUE:

You cannot spoil a newborn by holding it too much.

However, you can wear yourself out, make yourself a nervous wreck and make the baby so nervous it won't sleep. So, if you have done the following things:

1. Given the baby a warm, soothing bath. (If you can, there are baby baths with lavender or chamomile which help promote sleep);

2. Put a clean onesie or pajama and diaper on the baby, according to the weather and heat in the house;

3. Dimmed the lights in their separate room. Yes, separate if you can do so. It will be okay. Make sure the crib or bassinet is to code. If you need help purchasing one, there is help out there! Your baby's safety is paramount when sleeping!

4. Be flexible, yet consistent with sleep/naptimes. I know this sounds confusing, but early on, the baby will eat often. Depending upon breastfed or bottle-fed will determine how much (or how long) you need to feed. After you hit the nutritional limit for your baby's age, the baby is not eating for nutritional requirements. It is eating for comfort. You must not allow them to do this.

 If they need a little bit of mom in a rocker, give them mom in a rocker. 

If they are older and they need a little bit of mom on the floor to play and some floor exercise, give them mom on the floor for some floor exercise!

Make sure the errands YOU want to run do not interfere with the nap schedule baby sets for himself.. If you do, the baby will get overtired, he will cry uncontrollably and for the rest of the day, you will have trouble relaxing the baby and getting him back on feeding/sleeping routines, depending upon how easy of a baby he is. The bright side: This stage only lasts until they are out of the house.

5. Start early restricting electronics in the bedroom. No t.v.s for noise. No screens at all that emit blue light. If you have older children that can be propped, avoid the impulse to prop them in front of the television or an iPad, or your telephone to watch a program. Not only is it unnecessary, but it is also lazy and will deplete their focus on other things in the long run. I am convinced as an educator that this is the way we have bred our children not to be able to sit and focus on seatwork by the time they get into school.

After you have done these Fice Easy Steps To Sleep for both of you, if they fail, and there are nights or days when they will; When you cannot hold them or do one more thing for them, lay them down. It doesn't do Mom or Dad or Gram or Baby any good to be wound up beyond all measure.

One of the first pieces of advice I gave each of my children as they brought my precious grands home is that you don't want to get so upset that you can't control what you do. Lay that baby down. Put baby in the crib. Let it cry. A baby comes to no harm crying. They learn to self-soothe. It is an ability we all have to learn at some point in our lives.

Take it from me, new parents, you're doing fine. Do everything you do for your child in a spirit of love. Everything will work out in the end. The adventure will be amazing.

HELP!

Help! My Child Is Out of Control!

Let me guess at the current scene in your home:

Every morning starts the same -you dread getting out of bed.  Discord, and fighting start the day as your stomach grinds. The constant verbal exchanges and bitterness from this child or teen are taking over the family. Perhaps the situation from unruliness and sassiness as a young child turned to drugs and breaking curfew as a teen. My advice? Forget About It.

Okay, that is an oversimplification. I know you've cried. I know you've done everything you can think of doing. You might have even visited rehab units, and therapists, or had your child on medications. Some of this may be necessary. I am not a medical professional, but there is one thing that I know is vitally important, especially for the parent and grandparent in these situations for their mental health and for the recovery of the child, yet is usually overlooked.

God gave you the ultimate "set-it-and-forget it" answer. You need to pray and let go. Praying is easy. Letting go is the hard part.

I have taught a class with a very powerful way to pray: Put your child's name in scripture. What is their offense? Are they sassy? You could use Ephesians 4:29 Do not let (insert name utter) any unwholesome talk out of their mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.(NIV)

Let me assure you, Dear Parent, for every problem in your household there is an answer in the Bible. If you are unable to find it on your own, your minister can guide you. If you do not have a minister of your own, contact one at your local church. They will be more than willing to help. If you wish, drop a line with your email address alone and I will contact you privately. Prayer works miracles. I have seen it in my own life.

Second, I heard a life-changing bit of advice while raising my six children. I had noticed in the hustle and bustle of our days, getting them out the door for school and then homework, dinner, baths, stories, and bedtime, that there were days I did not have a conversation with a child or two. I was stunned! 

Then I read how vitally important it was to spend a minimum of 10 minutes each day with each child in eye-to-eye contact, having a conversation with them. It makes sense, right? It makes everyone feel valued and seen. Sometimes at the dinner table, our quieter children never got a word in edge-wise!

Put down your phone tonight. Have a conversation with each of your children away from the television and electronics. An unrushed conversation. You will both be better for it! Then pray. The changes will happen. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but I promise, they will happen!

Middle Age

 

Middle Age

"One of the hardest decisions to make is when to start middle age."

I guess age is all a matter of perception. Our 17-year-old son came home the other night to tell us at dinner about the coolest teacher at school. It turns out the cool teacher was a 20-something art teacher - of course. Later in the meal, he spoke about an old boring guy who teaches - what else? History. When we asked how old he thought the "old guy" was, he replied,"40 or 45."
My husband and I glanced at each other across the the table, mouths, I'm sure, attractivly ajar.
"What?" We stumbled out...He just went on with his story, too engrossed in self to see his father and I whithering from old age - right before his eyes - at the dinner table.
At the age of 17, the late 40's are ancient. Jacob is sure his history teacher lived through much of it....hmmmm.
Thirty was okay for me, but 31 made me start thinking about getting older. After all, this is the age your OB reminds you that your eggs have now shifted into old age and pregnancy can be chancier.
By 40, I was beginning to staart to enjoy the respect given to a maturing woman and starting to feel more like "myself."
50 is around the corner and I've found the me I had looked for so intently in the 60's. Why didn't anyone tell my generation that you found yourself in your 50's?
Life is fabulous for me right now - I have done as good of job as I can at my marriage, raising my children and being a good person. I can definitely tell you what I like and don't like, what my political views are and how to bake a kickn' turkey for the holidays. What I can't tell you is where I last put my car keys.
It doesn't matter though. My husband and I are starting to travel, have grandchildren and enjoy getting to know each other "post children." It is like dating again!
I can't tell you where middle age is - but I can tell you I haven't reached that point yet!