For Nine months, we sleep and play undisturbed, floating in a temperature-controlled medium, eating at will, lights on dim with noise kept to a comfortably low constant hum, our mother's pleasant voice, the tinkle of her laughter ... ah,'
All of that changes in a cold splash of steel and bright lights, and noise, and if we aren't cooperative, I hear a quick slap to the patoot!
I'm pretty sure all I would want to do would be sleep for the next few months. After bringing home six little ones from this tortuous adventure, I can assure you, their ability to sleep seems to dissolve about the time you leave the hospital and you walk through the door to your home.
If you're anything like many parents I've known, this is when you start to doubt your ability to parent.
Let me stop you right there. I assure you, all you need is love and your instincts. If you have those two things, you're good to go.
Your baby wants to return to what he/she had. So ... give it to him. Within reason. I will explain. You have to attend to your baby while also looking after yourself.
TRUE:
You cannot spoil a newborn by holding it too much.
However, you can wear yourself out, make yourself a nervous wreck and make the baby so nervous it won't sleep. So, if you have done the following things:
1. Given the baby a warm, soothing bath. (If you can, there are baby baths with lavender or chamomile which help promote sleep);
2. Put a clean onesie or pajama and diaper on the baby, according to the weather and heat in the house;
3. Dimmed the lights in their separate room. Yes, separate if you can do so. It will be okay. Make sure the crib or bassinet is to code. If you need help purchasing one, there is help out there! Your baby's safety is paramount when sleeping!
4. Be flexible, yet consistent with sleep/naptimes. I know this sounds confusing, but early on, the baby will eat often. Depending upon breastfed or bottle-fed will determine how much (or how long) you need to feed. After you hit the nutritional limit for your baby's age, the baby is not eating for nutritional requirements. It is eating for comfort. You must not allow them to do this.
If they need a little bit of mom in a rocker, give them mom in a rocker.
If they are older and they need a little bit of mom on the floor to play and some floor exercise, give them mom on the floor for some floor exercise!
Make sure the errands YOU want to run do not interfere with the nap schedule baby sets for himself.. If you do, the baby will get overtired, he will cry uncontrollably and for the rest of the day, you will have trouble relaxing the baby and getting him back on feeding/sleeping routines, depending upon how easy of a baby he is. The bright side: This stage only lasts until they are out of the house.
5. Start early restricting electronics in the bedroom. No t.v.s for noise. No screens at all that emit blue light. If you have older children that can be propped, avoid the impulse to prop them in front of the television or an iPad, or your telephone to watch a program. Not only is it unnecessary, but it is also lazy and will deplete their focus on other things in the long run. I am convinced as an educator that this is the way we have bred our children not to be able to sit and focus on seatwork by the time they get into school.
After you have done these Fice Easy Steps To Sleep for both of you, if they fail, and there are nights or days when they will; When you cannot hold them or do one more thing for them, lay them down. It doesn't do Mom or Dad or Gram or Baby any good to be wound up beyond all measure.
One of the first pieces of advice I gave each of my children as they brought my precious grands home is that you don't want to get so upset that you can't control what you do. Lay that baby down. Put baby in the crib. Let it cry. A baby comes to no harm crying. They learn to self-soothe. It is an ability we all have to learn at some point in our lives.
Take it from me, new parents, you're doing fine. Do everything you do for your child in a spirit of love. Everything will work out in the end. The adventure will be amazing.
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