“...Wash and make yourself clean.
Take your evil deeds out of my sight!
Stop doing wrong.
Learn to do right!
Seek justice,
Encourage the oppressed.” Isaiah 1:16-17NIV
Abuse. SHHH! We don’t talk about that, do we? Although, for abuse to exist, it has to bloom in the dark. No one talks about it. The bruises are where clothes cover. The words, slung with reckless abandon at our family members, damage hearts and minds - large and small - where no one outside the family can see the scars and bitterness forming.
Could you be the abused … or the abuser?
It is a hard thing to face, but face it you must - and once you have the answer, you must act. As with any action, you must face accountability.
How do I know? I was in an abusive relationship for several years and I did not want to leave for three reasons. The first is that I was in love. The second was that I was sure that I could model Christ’s love and he would be SAVED. The third and perhaps most vivid in my mind is that I was terrified on so many levels: fearful I couldn’t run far enough with my child, and he would kill me, fearful I couldn’t care for the two of us, fearful of not being loved again, fearful of giving up on a covenant I had made with God and my husband, so many fears!
I would also have to limp back to my family in disgrace. It was all too hard. But it was necessary. To save my life, to save the life of my child.
That being said, in today’s world, an abused woman or man (yes, MEN are abused too), have options. There are shelters. There were NO shelters at the time I was going through my ordeal. When the abused steps up and finally acknowledges there is a problem, and separates from the abuser, it is a huge mental step.
I don’t want you to turn away from reporting because you are a Christian. Christian households have the same problems everyone else does. Sitting in a pew does not make families immune from problems. It makes them better able to handle them. God gives us the tools to get on top of things and yes, I would say some things are less likely to happen, but I would never say never.
Do not ever be ashamed to go to your Pastor with a problem. He has heard it. I can almost guarantee it.
However, remember Isaiah? Your Pastor will listen. He will counsel you wisely. He will also be in a position to report the abuser and keep the abused safe. Know that this is not a breach of confidence on his part.
Both the abused and the abuser must work tirelessly to save their family. The Pastor can be a worthy ally in this goal, but you must work with them. Help the helpers who serve you by understanding what they must do.
My fervent prayer this month is that if readers recognize themselves in these brief paragraphs, they reach out to someone. If you just need to talk, be you abused or abuser, please contact a friend or start a dialogue with your pastor.
Get up each morning and connect with God through prayer. He will work miracles in your life. I am praying with you.
Next Steps!
If you are the abused or abuser: Start by confessing your situation to Our Father and praying for help and direction today.
Each morning, put on the armor of God through prayer so that he may better guide your footsteps through the day and keep you from stumbling or keep you from harm. He is to the right and to the left of you. He leads you and follows you. You are blessed!
Go to a trusted Pastor, a counselor, scour the internet for resources, go forward boldly! You are blessed!
You are loved. You are worthy. You are blessed, abused, or abuser, these words are for you. May your road be bright going forward. The kingdom is for you
