Speak Lord, for Your servant, is listening.

 Speak Lord, for Your servant, is listening. I Samuel 3:9

Speak, Lord

Since I've read this passage in my daily devotions, it has resonated within my heart. How often do we speak without listening during the day?

How often do we pray without pausing to listen for God's answer?

So very often, I have heard people tell me how ineffective prayer is; that they have prayed to no avail. I disagree. More often, we have not gotten the answer we want, so we assume God wasn't listening. 

When a loved one passes after we have prayed so fervently for a miracle, didn't God fail you then? I say no. I was in such a position at 19. I lost my Mother. I must admit to some anger at the time. My entire family came together to pray at the time of her diagnosis. We are a family of prayer warriors.

I was encouraged. Nothing would happen. She would be ill for a while, but through all of the anguish and hard work of caretaking for her, I never lost hope. We were all good people, pulling together in one direction. She was the glue that bound us together. The eldest in her family, a loving Christian family that adored her. Nine short months after her diagnosis, she passed, leaving a 19 and a 17-year-old stunned and grief-stricken. 

Why had God forsaken me? In my narcissistic teenage thoughts, I forgot Mom had a husband, another daughter, mother, father, sisters, brothers, nieces, and nephews, all grieving. Because I lost my way, I had no support. I couldn't see that what God had done was release Mom from all her pain. Could she have been praying for the release?

In the years since, I have come to realize, my mother, pulled off somewhat of a miracle herself. I raised six children. I am now in my sixties and I worry about the qualityof my work. However, my mom managed to give me enough information that I was able to keep house and raise my children with more than enough confidence for most of my adult life!

I could have saved myself so much pain early in my adult life if only I were still and listened to God. To HIS will.

There are smaller examples.

One year, my husband and I had added to our family and desperately needed a new car. We found a Ford Taurus that had just rolled off the assembly line and it is no exaggeration to say we were coveting that car. We visited the dealership several times while the salesman tried everything to make our small check cover the cost. We prayed. The deal fell through. We were devastated.

What we couldn't see in our future: We were military and were handed unexpected orders a short time later to a much more expensive area. Our budget never would have let us keep a new car. At our new duty station, the new church welcomed us with open arms. When I was due to deliver our sixth son, a friend took me aside and said they had a second car they had no use for and wanted to give it to us for a low cost, knowing another child would not fit into our car! What a God send!

God saw our needs. He answered. Not in the way we wanted, but in His time. In His way. Several years later, when my husband made more rank, we were able to buy another car so that we could go places together in one car, and it was delightful! However, we will always be thankful that He was watching over us when we needed it the most and sent earth angels to assist us.

Speak Lord, for your servant, is listening.